BRING DOWN THE GARDEN CENTRES

Bring down, bring down the garden centres –
centres of wickedness, seats of corruption.
They mass-produce twine and put
traditional waterbutt-makers and trug-makers
out of production.
All of the Social Securities filled with members
of the Waterbutt-Makers’ & Trug-Makers’ Guild.

Bring down, bring down the garden centres.

Remember when your local corner-shop
Supplied all of your gardening needs?
Trugs on the top shelf,
next to the humbugs and gobstoppers –
and we were happy, we were happy shoppers –
children filling their pockets with packets of seeds
the minute the shopkeeper’s back was turned:
“Mister, can you get us down that water feature?”

Bring down, bring down the garden centres.

Remember 1381?
Wat Tyler was a trug-maker by trade –
he only made tiles for a hobby, just for a bit of fun.
Emmeline Pankhurst made concrete tortoises –
there’s millions of us, you see.
And when I’m throwing myself in front of a birdbath
on Saturday,
where will you be?